Wednesday, March 13, 2013


Regarding, etc.:
LOL@ ANTI-ASSIMILATION” HOMOS ON TUMBLR who still only give visibility to the same beige toned bearded dudes and who rehash the same monomyth of the homo outsider that only reinforces a queer canon produced and deemed valuable within the STRAIGHT academy.
GUESS WHAT y’all. your critique is as stale as the photos/gifs you’re reblogging.”
There are few things more annoying than in the midst of a delightful gathering, just after an arch punchline is delivered, than having to explain the joke to a pinched literal-minded guest, especially when the humor is meant to freight irony. We feel solidarity for the drag queen, who during her gig in Omaha is being hit on hard by a clueless suit who takes her for a woman looking for a trick when all she wants is to belt out some Barbara.
We all sigh in unison in our all-male bearded secret Wohngemeinschaft here in Berlin, but since we pity you, alone by your computer collecting Alie McBeal memorabilia, we’ll stoop to spell things out. We are not serious, or rather, we are seriously unserious, a stance, a joke, a hoax. Duh. Look at the Manifesto, “a modest proposal”, dig? Sorry, we know ambiguity is something some people only recognize in an essay, but when you encounter it in real life you become a mullah of PC puritanism. Alas, this is the Age of Snipe.
Ok! This is a performance, but off with the masks, flannel and phony beard for a moment:
We camp gender nationalism in all its forms, including the “beige bearded” version. In fact, beards, flannel and tattoos are our means of camping it up. The impossibility and awfulness of a homo-Israel, Iran or Utah —-places reason enough not to emulate nations—- are exactly what we loath! Of course we keep a straight-face, it’s necessary in show-biz. We’re doing the same thing with beards and tattoos that drag artists have done with hair and makeup in order to challenge gender strictures. Just because drag queens love their wigs and dresses does not make them an iota less powerful as critics of the straight dictat. Excuse us for not including a laugh track and having this vetted by the politically correct committee. We are fully aware of the “gender trap”, that is the point. We live in it, the gender hoax.
Where is this Straight Academy you speak of? (It sounds kinda hot! Is it like this?) Do they have a big Canon? Oops, sorry, we’re meant to be taking you seriously, but you can appreciate, that’s hard. We admire Foucault, Sontag, Butler, DA Miller, (amond many others), not because they are homos themselves, but because they are interesting and share our concerns… are they colleagues in the straight academy? If not, where is Queer U.? Faux theory, nous? All theory is faux to us, by its nature, unreified and thank goodness. And yes, we are mocking Theory with our “theory”, like everything else; sometimes you a little spice is fine, but don’t mistake salt for meat. Thick juicy meat, mmm.
We are proposing that everyone has their own unique gender and we all move through everyday life amid the complexity of many worlds. To do this, schemas and models are necessary, not to mention communities. Assimilation, separatism, and the like are stale ideas, but they are useful as tools to make a new agitprop.
In the wake of the AIDS crisis, homosexual men lost a great deal, not only human life, but also culture, knowledge and traditions. A project of reconstruction is busily at hand. To us, most of this project is heteronormed amnesia and just gross. Talk about monoculture! Most young men don’t even see an alternative to the way they live now. We do not propose Revenge of the Clones, rather, we take up this pose: looking back critically to a rich tradition that included different ideas about love, sex and friendship might warrant our attention (and humor).
p.s. So, lolz right back at ya.
p.p.s. Hey look! We’re all despising one another and laughing derisively in each other’s faces, this must be the rich, warm and welcoming gay community we all celebrate at Pride! Afraid this year we’ll pass, again. Thanks for the “invite”, “enjoy”! Happy “Pride”!
p.p.p.s. get it?
p.p.p.p.s. sigh.

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